San Antonio Saturday Night

Life has been full of challenges lately - work has been stressful, the kids have just gone back to school in person, which has created many new routines and things to worry about, plus school pick up and drop off, plus there’s a pandemic. Tommy and I have been trying to figure out our new sharing of responsibilities for our family and for work, as I take a more active role at work and he takes a more active role in parenting. It’s been a lot of negotiation, discussion, and honestly mutual frustration at times. It’s not easy to work together and parent together and figure it all out, especially during times of rapid change.

With so much focus on our co-parent relationship and our co-worker relationship, our actual romantic relationship has taken a backseat lately. There just hasn’t been the time or energy to prioritize for either of us in weeks. And we started to feel the strain, because our success in working together in the other areas of our lives rests upon a foundation of a loving relationship.

It can feel efficient to skip date night, when you so desperately need a chance to unwind, and especially for me as an introvert. When I’m parenting and working all day, it’s hard for me to have any energy left to devote to anything else. I crave alone time and quiet, the chance to retreat and to rest. So we’ve been skipping date nights, time together just for fun, to focus on what’s important.

Or so we thought. But the strain was starting to wear on us.

Thankfully, my niece had a birthday, and for her birthday, she wanted a sleepover with her cousins (Harper and Ruthie). We asked Tommy’s parents if they would watch Theo for us, so we could have a grown-up night, and they generously agreed.

We didn’t want to drive all the way home, so we decided to stay in San Antonio (close to Tommy’s sister / my niece’s house). I rented a room at the Hotel Emma because Tommy’s aunt always raves about it and goes for her birthday every year, and she’s got high standards.. I knew we wouldn’t really be going out, so we might as well have a nice place to stay in.

We packed, drove to San Antonio and dropped the kids off. We were free! It was an unfamiliar feeling, since this is the first time we had a night without kids since February. But it felt lighter, hopeful. We committed to not talking about work, and to trying to not talk about the kids. To just embrace relaxing and being together. As soon as the kids were gone, we could both feel the lack in our recent encounters, and shared the realization that it was because there wasn’t enough of this. Time to appreciate and enjoy each other - after all, that’s why we fell in love and committed to spending our lives together, to working together, to raising our kids together. The joy in each other’s company forges the bond that unites us.

We didn’t even have music on in the car - just an exhale of letting go of the pressures in peace as we headed down the highway. As we pulled in, instead of our usual rush to get checked in to the hotel that we have with kids, because someone always needs to pee, eat, get a diaper, get out of the car, something - we just took our time.

The Hotel Emma surprised us right when we arrived - parking is free. Nice hotels never have free parking. What a treat - free parking! There’s also free internet, which is also a rarity in a nice hotel.

We came in to check in, and I was reminded of the beauty and charm of the hotel. It’s built inside the old Pearl Brewery, and the industrial charm is mixed with layers of comfortable seating and perfect lighting. The receptionist reviewed our options and offered suggestions for making a dinner reservation or getting take-out and eating it by the pool, which clears out around 7. Even going to a hotel was a big step for us in Covid precautions, so we weren’t ready to eat in a restaurant. It wouldn’t be fun to be looking around, worrying the whole time.

We headed up to our room, which smelled delightful and was anchored by a giant four poster bed with Frette linens. I hadn’t had lunch, and Tommy wanted to watch the end of the Texas football game, so I headed down to grab a sandwich while he chilled on the bed, yelling at the TV as the Longhorns lost. Even that loss couldn’t damper our day though - all is well.

The sandwich I got from Larder, the grocery / cafe in the hotel, was delicious. I also grabbed a bottle of Rose, which I enjoyed a glass of with my sandwich. While I walked to Larder, I noticed that the bar was almost completely empty. We definitely haven’t been to a bar since February. I suggested going to the bar for a drink, while it was empty, and so down we went. It was so nice, just talking and enjoying our drink, snuggled up on a big comfy sofa with a fire in the fireplace across the room. It’s Fall, but still Texas, so the fire is more wishful thinking than necessary heat.

We ended up spending the day just relaxing, watching some Schitt’s Creek, napping, and reading our books. We would share interesting tidbits from our books while reading, and really feel like we had the time and attention to listen.

For dinner, we ordered food from Southerly, a Southern-food restaurant in the hotel. It was delicious, and we ate next to the pool, which we had entirely to ourselves, at a table under a trellis of vines and lights. It was the most romantic take-out I’ve ever enjoyed. We thought about going for a night swim in the heated pool, but just as we were finishing dinner, two kids showed up to swim. I love kids, but neither of us felt like swimming with kids that night.

We both slept great in that lovely bed, and woke up refreshed. It felt like it had been days of getting away, even though it wasn’t even 24 hours. We got coffee (delivered to our room) while we got ready and watched some Sunday morning news. I love Sunday morning news, hearing the different experts talk and argue, while drinking coffee. Tommy tolerates my enthusiasm for doing this, but doesn’t share it.

Outside in the big green area, there was a farmer’s market on Sunday morning. We masked up, walked outside and got some Churro beignets and a Chinese breakfast platter with a fried egg, pork belly, pulled pork and German slaw (this was fantastic). There were people out, but mostly wearing masks, and lots of social distancing.

I wasn’t sure how I would feel about going out in the world, leaving our little bubble we have been in. Although there were some people who were not wearing masks, or wearing them correctly, most were. I don’t think I’d be comfortable going out as often as I was pre-pandemic, but it was such a treat to re-connect and be a part of the world again, for me, I am grateful that we had the opportunity to do that.

We packed up while Tommy watched some NFL football, which I tolerate. I don’t know if it’s because we haven’t stayed in a hotel in so long, or if it’s because the Hotel Emma is really that great, but we both left feeling like it was the best hotel we’ve ever stayed in. There are so many thoughtful touches and the design is so beautiful and guest-centered that I hope to return many times.