Over the River and Through the Woods to Dallas We Go
I’m from Dallas, and in some ways, it still feels like home to me. I love driving into the city on I-35 from Austin, seeing the skyline pop up on the horizon. It just feels so familiar, and I still love so many things about Dallas (sorry to all the Austin haters, but Dallas is great too). Driving in on I-35, on the right side as the car rounds Downtown, is the Old Red Courthouse, where Tommy and I got married. I still feel all warm and fuzzy and transported back to 2008 when I pass it. And then it’s just a straight shot North on the Tollway (passing the exit for our first married home, and then our first business office, and then the mall where I spent my teen years) and I arrive at my parents’ house.
This trip was designed to be pretty low-key. To finish out Fall Break with the girls (we did Fredericksburg for the first half), I took Theo, Harper and Ruthie to Dallas on my own. Tommy stayed home to work and to frankly get a chance to just do whatever he wanted for the weekend without me and the kids, a kind of freedom that has been nonexistent in the last few months. There is tons of fun stuff to do in Dallas with kids, and we did almost none of it on this trip.
I did the drive in the evening so that I could avoid Theo crying for being trapped in the car for so long and hopefully avoid any bathroom stops. Of course, fifteen minutes into the drive, Ruthie announced she had to go. I told her to wait, and if she still REALLY needed to go in twenty minutes, I would stop. No more was heard from her, so we made the three hour drive with no stops. Victory! I was not looking forward trying to take three kids to a gas station bathroom at night during a pandemic alone.
My parents still live in the same house that we lived in most of my childhood, and even though it’s been completely redecorated multiple times, it still feels like home. It’s funny how going into your parents’ house lowers your own age by twenty years. I just feel more child-like there, and more adult when they visit me in my own home.
It was late when I arrived, but everyone wanted to hug, and chat, and hang out so it took a little time to get settled in for bed. I was tired from driving (driving always makes me sleepy), so I was the one hustling everyone along.
I am not a morning person - never have been, no matter how much I wish I were. One of the great things about visiting my parents for me is that my mom is a morning person. My gratitude for her getting up at 6:30 AM with the kids, and enjoying it, knows no bounds. I get the blessed opportunity to stay in bed until the luxurious hour of 8 AM, and I usually feel like a new person when I get up.
Our first day there was Thursday. My dad had to work, so my mom and I took the kids to a park. It was a little weird, because we got a little lost and accidentally went to the playground of an elementary school. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it made sense at the time, and the playground even had a park sign. It was odd. So we played for a while, although it was unexpectedly cold, but when classes started coming outside for recess, we packed ourselves up and drove home. We hung around the house all afternoon, and it was a slow-paced day, at least as slow-paced as anything is with three young kids.
When I was a child, my grandmother June, my mom’s mother, bought an antique trunk and filled it with little treasures for me when I would visit her. She had insight into what kinds of little items would thrill a child, and it was mostly full of all the random odds and ends she found in her garage sale expeditions. She would add new items each time I went, and so it was always something I looked forward to — exploring and playing with the treasure chest. When I got older, she gave me the chest. I knew that having it at my house wouldn’t be nearly as fun as keeping it at my mom’s for the girls to explore. So now one of the great pleasures for me, and for them, is to explore the Treasure Chest at Dodo’s. I think my mom finds as much pleasure as we do in adding new items and seeing the girls explore it each time we visit.
The girls spent a long time building a “store” to sell the treasure chest items, organizing the little glass bottles as makeup, the antique toys, the jewelry, the dishes, the tools — I remember when I watch them how I felt, and the treasure chest has a particular smell that it has had for thirty years. I don't know if it’s her house, the garage sale items, or what - but it’s probably the smell that most transports me to my childhood.
My parents created their own tradition with the girls - happy hour. They put out snacks, and make the girls fancy “cocktails”, and everyone has conversation and sits together. My mom is always a little extra, so on this visit, each night of happy hour had a theme - Mexican night, Italian night, and Birthday night (Harper’s birthday is coming up in November). This also gives my dad a time to shine, as he has become quite the mixologist, with special syrups and ingredients and fancy garnishes for every drink. He always makes the girls something elaborate seeming, and something worthy of a classy cocktail bar for the adults.
Our day passed, and it wasn’t full of exciting outings and adventures, but it opened up an expanse of time for enjoying these two traditions that are special to our family. I appreciate so much how my mom creates joyful celebrations and makes even the everyday seem special. It’s a gift for those around her, and something I appreciate more and more as I get older and see the lasting impact that her approach has on her family and friends.
Friday we went to the Arboretum, a beautiful botanical garden in Dallas that creates an absolutely epic pumpkin patch village every year. I let the girls pack for themselves, and immediately regretted it when we left for the Arboretum. I’m working to help them learn independence and to care for themselves, but the cost of that independence was that I didn’t pack cute fall outfits for the gorgeous backdrops at the Arboretum, and it felt like a missed opportunity. I watched the families around us with the children in matching outfits taking cute pictures, and I felt kind of sad that I had my girls in the random clothes they packed. It definitely created some moments of comparison where I felt like I fell short. And it wasn’t just the kids - the moms were dressed in instagram worthy Fall hats, sweaters and boots too. I was wearing sneakers and leggings and a sweatshirt, and felt underdressed and frumpy.
I forget how stylish and dressy Dallas is. This comes up and makes me fell out of place in my hometown over and over again, now that I’ve become used to Austin casual. I can’t completely ignore my feelings of inadequacy when I’m surrounded by all the Dallas fancy folk, but I try to not show it, because there’s no reason to make my kids feel bad or inadequate or like they have to always show off and fit in. It’s definitely an experience that reminds me that no matter how familiar and home-like Dallas feels to me, I have changed from moving away to adapt to my new hometown. And sometimes that change reveals itself in my small, unconscious decisions like grabbing a sweatshirt and leggings instead of a sweater and cute floppy hat.
The kids were finding joy exploring the hay maze, seeing the pumpkin houses, and noticing all the huge variety of pumpkins and gourds and comparing them to other things. They, as always, model how to stay in the moment and just live your life for the joy of living it. Theo was obsessed with climbing piles of pumpkins, and so mad at us when we pulled him away. He’s definitely learning to be two and embracing his newfound power to throw a tantrum when he doesn’t get his way.
We had also bought tickets to the Children’s Adventure Garden, and thankfully, it was mostly empty when we went. This gave us the chance to explore and play at a leisurely pace, right up until the kids realized how famished they were and cleaned us out of the snacks we had packed. We headed toward home, even though there was a lot more to see at the Arboretum.
We spent the afternoon and evening together, not doing much of anything worth documenting, but just enjoying the time together going for a walk, playing outside in the backyard, having another happy hour, and talking. I appreciated the opportunity to be together, and to have found something fun to do for Fall Break.
We spent Saturday in much the same way - no big outings planned. Harper and Ruthie have been on an organizing kick, inspired by watching The Home Edit on Netflix. They organized my mom’s shoes in her closet. Listening to them planning it, they inquire about which shoes she wears the most often, in order to make it work well for her. They encourage her to get rid of some to make more space (which she does, and I get a pair to take home -yay for having the same shoe size). They really sound like the women on The Home Edit, and it’s funny because they sound so adult when pretending to be professional home organizers.
Saturday evening, we ordered take-out from one of my favorite restaurants when I lived in Dallas (Kenny’s Woodfire Grill) for the adults and made Mac-n-cheese for the kids. It was Harper’s birthday celebration, so my mom had decorations to make a family party, some gifts, and a unicorn cake. My brother came over to celebrate too, and it was fun to see him.
For me, this trip was all about the feeling of going home, of nostalgia for my own time as the granddaughter who looked forward to exploring the treasure chest, staying in my old room (although it looks completely different), and just spending time with my parents. It was a rare treat in the fast pace of our normal lives, and in so many ways, a real gift to savor the love and connection to some of the most important people in my life.