Shopping Simpler
I have two guiding strategies that I use to make decisions about my life over and over. One is satisficing (read more below) and one is eliminating things that take my time but that I don’t enjoy whenever possible. My shopping habits changed fairly dramatically over the last year to align more with my values, and I’m grateful for it.
Last January, I did a no-shopping month. I deleted all my shopping apps (and was surprised how many I had on my phone) and vowed to stop sitting on my laptop browsing or shopping for things I don’t really need. Because really, I don’t need anything at all.
It was a nice reset, and I finished the month without shopping. It was kind of surprising how many hours of my life I spent (wasted?) on shopping. I’m sure if I added it up I’d be very alarmed. I never really got back into the same habit as I was in at the end of 2019. I’m sure it helped that I didn’t really go anywhere in 2020, so shopping for anything other than leggings and sweatpants was kind of a waste of time.
However, one of the relics of my online shopping obsession was the sense of getting exciting mail. I would experience a little thrill when a package would arrive, and look forward to opening it. I never track my packages, so they are always kind of a surprise when they show up.
A couple of months into the pandemic, the weight of all the parenting decisions and little tasks I handled started to wear on me. With input from our therapist, Tommy and I sat down together, made a list of everything I think about or do for the kids (as much as I could think of), and worked together to divide it up more evenly. It took some time but it has been good for our relationship.
One of the things that came out of that discussion was a decision to put the kids clothes on subscription instead of me buying them throughout the year. The girls both got a Stitch Fix subscription, and now they can browse their box, choose what they want, and send back the rest. It takes me NO time, other than the time to go through the box. They love having the control over their clothes. It was a fun way to get rid of what had started to feel like a major chore and turn it into a fun family activity. I occasionally have to buy something practical (new underwear, a coat, etc) but I only buy it when needed and it turns out that actually takes me five minutes, because I embrace satsificing. For more on the joys of satisficing, read this article from Medium.
Satisficing is a decision-making strategy that aims for a satisfactory or adequate result, rather than the optimal solution.
In the end, between the no-shopping month and the joy of realizing that I love having more time to spend on things other than shopping and the idea of simplifying purchases for the kids, I’ve come around to being a total subscription fan in the last year.
Some of the subscriptions I receive that bring me joy:
Underclub - I get one cute, new pair of undies each month. I throw out an old pair anytime I find one that’s done, and I don’t have to spend a lot of time thinking about it.
Pipsticks - I love stickers. They are basically pointless, little pops of joy. I like decorating letters, cards, random items (hello, AirPods case) with a fun little design.
Literati - Okay, we actually only have a kids subscription. although they launched an adult version this year. But since we started getting it, and the kids get to check out their boxes and choose two books to keep, they read more. They are excited to read what they have chosen, and again - it takes no effort from me.
Subscriptions feel like gifts to me, like delightful little surprises in the mail, and I don’t have to do anything. Shopping less has brought me more time for more meaningful activities and less of my time and energy spent on consuming more stuff that I don’t need.