Sixteen Weeks, Sixteen Memories
It’s been sixteen weeks since we started staying home in earnest in our family. With rising cases in Austin, the end does not seem to be in sight. The endless feeling of isolating staying home and away from normal activities is starting to wear on me. I hear my inner voice starting to rebel against the “new normal”, just wishing for a return to normal life. For me, it comes in flashes in the middle of cooking dinner, when I get a flash of not getting to go out to see a show, or meet up for happy hour. Or I’ll be doing laundry, and I will remember that I used to get to wash fancy, fun clothes for parties, and I’ll feel angry that I don’t know when I’ll need to wear fun clothes again. (Although I certainly like my lounge pants!).
I was looking through my calendar, and on March 12th, I had lunch with a friend at a restaurant. I remember hugging when I got there, and hearing a momentary pause (should I have done that?) in my head as I had just begun feeling aware of Covid-19 in the US. And I didn’t know it at the time, but that was really my last experience of the old normal life that I would have for months.
Although I miss hugs with friends, and restaurant lunches, and shared appetizers, there have been bright spots for our family during this time. I am grateful for all the good, and I want to take a moment to record some of the good times so that when we look back, we can keep these as part of our story.
When we canceled our trip to Mexico City for Spring Break, we went to our lakehouse for the weekend just to get away. We don’t have internet or TV at the lakehouse, so time slows down there and there is more time to do other things. Packing up to go, I grabbed a project I had been saving for months and months - tie dye tshirts for the girls. At the time, I remember thinking how excited I was to finally do them, and I had a great time with the girls creating the t-shirts.
Amazing face painting, right?
For Spring Break, I wanted to make it special since it should have been a vacation from school. I planned a different theme every day with special activities. This was the week I started the daily schedule that would be our framework for the time the girls (and Theo) were staying home. Although it evolved a little over time, the overall structure stayed in place, and I was proud of myself for creating a structure that helped us all enjoy our new home life. I love the pictures from St. Patrick’s Day, where Anastasia (our au pair) did some very awesome face painting and created a rainbow snack tray. Creating our own celebrations and making each day have something to look forward to may have made this one of the most fun Spring Breaks I will have with the girls.
Sidewalk chalk has definitely played a huge role. The girls spent over an hour creating a sidewalk workout -- you have to run and follow the instructions in each section. It was really rewarding to witness their creativity and focus to bring to life their own ideas, with plenty of time to do it in the way they imagined. As siblings, sometimes it feels like they fight all the time, but I remember this activity as one they created together and worked on peacefully together to execute. Those moments of success are so bright. This was one of those experiences that reminded me of the gift of open time, of space -- and how that space is generative for children to create. And for adults too.
With so much more time at home, we decided to get a playscape for our backyard. The girls decided to use a big box we had to create “spy” equipment, and then spent the following weeks pretending to be spies, or detectives with cardboard walkie talkies and security cameras.
The girls wanted to try backyard camping. Tommy and I thought they wouldn’t last the night, but they surprised us and never came inside. They set themselves up in the tent, stayed up late, but never came inside to sleep (Thanks to Tommy for putting it together with their help). Tommy ended up spending the night in his tent outside next to them, but they did it on their own and had no idea he was out there. I was so proud of their independence.
Easter came - and we were able to celebrate with three egg hunts. We decided to do one for the girls where we could really hide the eggs. Then they wanted to do one for us where they would hide the eggs for the adults. Theo is finally old enough to hunt eggs, so the girls “hid” the eggs by scattering them all over the front yard. Theo had fun finding them, but the girls had more fun helping him and hiding them. It was one of those times where we allowed an activity to stretch out through the day instead of packing the time with so many things to do. This stretching allows us to go deeper into something, find new ways to experience it, and be more creative.
We spent so much time outside. Theo especially loves to play outside, and I think it’s the only two syllable word he can say. That’s all he wants -- to be outside. Doing anything. We have some river rocks in our backyard, which are probably the most entertaining thing we have. Watching him swing, build his confidence going down our slides on his own, and just exploring has been a joy.
One day, I added “picture day” to the schedule for the girls. They decided to wear these fancy dresses from Aunt Jenny, and our au pair Anastasia took pictures of them. They turned out so beautiful, and the girls had a blast posing and feeling special even if it was just taking pictures around our house!
We got a inflatable hot tub for our backyard. Tommy and I set it up together, and have enjoyed several fun evenings sitting outside, just talking. It’s very relaxing. We never would have done this if not for being home so much, but I’m glad we did.
I did several projects from Meri Cherry, some from her book and some from a virtual class I bought. I’ve been following her on Instagram for years, but usually we are so on the go that I don’t really have time to pause and do these projects. But when I do have time, it is my favorite way to hang out with the girls. Exploring, chatting, and creating. There is almost no fighting, and lots of sharing. It is truly my mom happy place -- where I feel the most successful and the most impactful, and that boost of joy and confidence can carry me through the next sibling fight, meltdown, and bedtime drama.
We had a couple of lake weekends - there is so much freedom in driving around on the boat, feeling the wind and being surrounded by water. It’s soothing and relaxing.
So much cooking. I’m most proud of my clam bake because I faced my fear of cooking shellfish. It’s so expensive that I’m always worried that I will mess it up. But I passed on the lobsters and tried this recipe, and it turned out so great! And Harper loves clams and mussels, which is awesome since she is often a picky eater. Also, this picture clearly demonstrates that I’m not a food photographer.
We had some movie nights with the girls. They don’t really like actual movies that much, but we watched the Disney Plus Elephant and Dolphin documentaries, and they were so awesome. I loved having that connection time with them. One of Harper’s biggest meltdowns during this time was over not watching them one night, so that is also memorable, although in a different way.
Homemade lemonade...is great with Jack Daniels. Quarantine tip -- you’re welcome.
Finding Obe. Before Covid started, I was a dedicated Orange Theory person. But I can’t bring myself to go back - it just seems too dangerous under these conditions. I floundered around for the first 13 weeks, going on lots of walks and occasional runs (I don’t like running), doing an online yoga class here and there. And I felt sad about my fitness level declining, and I missed the mental benefits of hard exercise. But then I stumbled upon Obe, and it’s great. I love the wide variety of classes, the dance and boxing especially, and the 28 minute time commitment. I can do two in a row, if I feel motivated, or just one and feel great about having done a real workout. They even have kids classes, and I’ve had fun doing those with the girls a couple of times also.
Little celebrations. We have made the most of anything to celebrate…This was our last dinner with Anastasia, our au pair. She requested enchiladas, and Harper set up the table with party supplies. When it feels like every day is the same, I think it’s so important to find things to celebrate, and to do them up as big as you can at home.
The thing is, I am sad about staying home. There are so many things going on outside my door that are upsetting, and not just COVID. It helps me to remember that there are bright spots right here, at home for us. And that ultimately, creating our family is the most interesting and fulfilling experience of my life, and the choices we make to spend time together, to engage in our passions together, to learn together are so much of what makes life meaningful and deeply satisfying, and so I am grateful for the opportunity to dive in deeper in the last sixteen weeks.